Scottish Club (not risking being fined!) 0 – 6 Lymm Ladies 1XI

The day didn’t start as planned when 2 hours before the meet time we realised that the Scottish club actually play in black and red and therefore we needed the white kit!

We then arrived at the club to be welcomed by a certain member of the team, mentioning no names, informing us of the likelihood of her being sick after one too many beers and not a lot of sleep!

However, we arrived at the Scottish Club and thanks to Lisa who took us for our warm up we managed to look very professional and things started to look up.

The first half started very slow.

This didn’t last long and we began to pick up pace and started to put more pressure on the Scottish Club’s defence which lead to a number of short corners being awarded! The pressure was on after David had spent half of training working on attacking short corners. So we huddled at the top of the circle and ………….. yes we completely messed up our first attempt! However, after that first attempt things improved and the short corner routines were a huge success! Thanks for that David!

The second half started with a lot more urgency and it soon became apparent that even with strengthening their team the Scottish Club could not stop Lymm. With a hatrick from Katy, 2 goals for Elly and a goal from Alex the score fairly reflected the game and meant we had a good excuse to head back to the club for a few beers!

There were some brilliant performances on the day and player of the match was awarded to Lisa.

Donkey* of the day was given to Sarah Hunt after a unanimous vote!

*obviously couldn’t swear on the website!

Lymm Men’s 2nds

The Welsh (sounding) Odyssey

A trilogy in four parts.

Or here , there and everywhere and back again.

Part One

Deeside 0-1 Lymm

A lovely day for a ramble around rural Cheshire, but aren’t Deeside the ramblers?, anyway, wegot to a pitch, and someone unlocked the gate.

This was the season opener for a number of players, and the full benefit of Dez ‘The special one’ Hayton’s efforts in the close season transfer market was beginning to be seen. High profile signing Cooper, and yet another exile from the Sports Club, Hawthorne were unveiled to the watching public, or three people and a dog.

The pre match warm-up went well, with some dynamic passing manoeuvres aiming to worry the oppo, we must make sure they watch them in future.

Started in true friendly style by Deeside, the attacks came thick and fast, but the agility of Billy The Fish in the Deeside goal thwarted all. (Note to the Special one: see who else Melchester have up for grabs, Brown Fox in particular!)

Cooper, matched by his old nemesis, Psycho, found the going underfoot a little slippery, to the delight and amusement of all, but eventually found a way past the acrobatic Fish to secure the only goal of the game and a well fought victory.

After another leisurely tour we repaired to the Ramblers lodge, for food and fines. Jimbo (of the Jet Set) delivered punishing judgement in a foretaste of the season to come, with no action going un fined, in particular El Capitan (for it is He who honours us with His presence this year also) who obviously faked a back injury to satisfy his canine desires. Honestly David, why couldn’t you just pat him like the rest of us did?

Special mention s must go to the man of the match, and to ACC Bunn for his hairdryer racing demonstration.

Part Two

Llanduddno 0-9 Lymm

Didn’t we have a lovely time, the day we went to Llanduddno, Conwy, Deganwy, Colwyn Bay and Boddelwyddan?

Well maybe not the last two, but we went past them, and the glories of El Capitan’s sat nav ensured that we could admire Mr Stevenson’s skill and artistry, and the madness of Llanduddno’s town planners!

A more dominant side was fielded by The Special one, and the opposition were overwhelmed.

An early attack saw a flick awarded, and the account was opened.

Sound umpiring from Mr Hamm saw to it that the game flowed well, and a flurry of goals, 6 from Cooper, Beckinsale, Bunn and Antoinnette for a final haul of nine, with no reply.

To the pub, and lashings of sandwiches, where Cooper stepped into the Fines Chair, to swell the coffers some more, before the long haul home, quite comfy really in the back of a big beemer!

Part Three

Lymm 3-0 Deeside

The First home game for many, including Mr Barton, who had obviously confused Padgate with Llanduddno, and was wearing beach shoes!

Following last weeks superb league opener, Deeside looked to be a stronger challenge, if only for the antics of Melchester’s finest in goal. But they had also brought along some badgers, who, once they got over their initial difficulty with holding the stick and walking upright, played very well, even if they did try to grub up worms from the astro now and then.

Some god, and tenacious finishing from Lymm finally broke the inevitable hole in the dyke, but the amazing Fish kept the tally down to three, while at the opposite end no one was more surprised than Ollie ‘XXL Big Boy’ Racey to see a flick being saved!

El Capitan scored a graceful flick, and Cooper nabbed the other two, one being a deflection from a cracking through ball from Dave ‘Crazy legs Crane’ Phillips, before being driven off the field by El Capitan, who appeared to take great umbrage at the poor defenceless centre forwards infamous big toe.

With half the team on cheerleading duty, a mini fines session was ably chaired by Jim Bob, with a telephonic contribution from the Special one, who confirmed that , Yes he was still wearing the pink shirt, and would pay his fine next week. Initial humour at the plight of Mr Bartons footwear from Nick ‘ flip flops look cool’ Murphy paled upon his fine, and Mr Barrington’s knowledge of fashion footware added to his woes.

Then we remembered that there was a rugby match going on, so repaired to the salle du TV to cheer on the boys!

To Be Concluded…….