Lymm 1s v Northrop Hall 3s Match Report.

After some hectic tooing and frowing during the week Lymm Mens first team managed to get a squad together for the trip to Welsh Wales. After the excitement and high tempo from last weeks top of the table clash this game was always going to be a tricky fixture as Northrop have had some good results at home (funny how that seems to happen at a lot of the teams we play against!?).

The early arrival at the pitch allowed us to have a decent amount of time to warm up and get used to the pitch, usually a good thing, however, on this occasion it proved to be shocker. The lines on the pitch were painted on with a combination of “Hard as Nails” and some dental filler that Army uses on his victims at work. Every time the ball crossed a line the ball blew flew up at about bollock height, and on some occasions if you were lucky at head height.

The playing conditions were so bad that short corner practise was a bit like that famous scene from Deerhunter!

We started the game at such a slow speed, all the lads clearly a bit worried about the hazardous conditions, Tom in goal was so worried he put his entire kit on only to realise he had omitted to put on his shorts first. (KERCHING!) and with Becks also admitting during warm up to receiving a random arse injury whilst allegedly snowboarding (gay on a tray) things did not look good.

Anyhowse thing got worse before they got better. Numerous forays into the oppos d produced some woeful passes and finishing and lapses in the middle and at the back even allowed them a couple of PC s. Tom and his defenders trying their best to look like the Keystone Cops!!

After half an hour of Ben moaning he managed to break the dead lock with a sharp turn and shot into the bottom right corner after some good link play between the bum chums (Phill and Andy). Half time and 1-0. Not good.

Some harsh words from the skipper and and the call from Phill to shorten the passes seemed to inspire the ranks to better things. Debutant Chungy and Andy up front started to link and Cooky and Ross B at the back were a lot more assertive. This led us to score 6 goals in about 20 minutes. The golden period had goals coming from right attack were Dave Phillips was starting to get some space. Ross A opened the second half account with a typical PC strike, he then added a second from open play. A pile driver from Ben floored their keeper which made scoring a bit easier. A cheeky reverse stick finish from Becks a tip in from Army after a slick Mark B corner and a tap in from Ben completed the goals.

Then we all had a kip for the last 5 minutes and they scored 2 goals to which the keeper was non too happy with Tom completing his Dick of the Day performance with tremendous stick throwing strops (KERCHING x2).

In reflection not a bad result and sometimes our expectation levels frustrate us but under the conditions a good result and a good debut from Rick Chung. MVP went to Andy Hunt, no goals but a very unselfish shift in the second half.

Thanks to Jim Davy for umpiring.

Daten 2’s 0 Lymm Ladies 1st 15

In a scene reminiscent of the Monty Python Spanish Inquisition sketch, the pre-match huddle saw the ladies first team coach instruct the side to remember THREE, no, FOUR (“…I’ll come in again.”) important tactical considerations;

1. Make use of the pivots and switch the play

2. Defend narrow, and attack wide

3. Look up for the early pass and, finally,

4. That FEAR and SURPRISE is our greatest asset! (<-- Dave didn’t actually mention that one. But the implication was there.)

With that in mind, and set up in a 3-3-4 attacking system against a Daten team containing only seven outfield players, Lymm exerted the early pressure and were soon a goal up thanks to an Alex Mitchell finish. I say an Alex Mitchell finish but no one back at the club could actually remember who scored the first goal (I’m not going to name names but Claire Dobson, Elly Davy and Rachel Jackson were involved and have memories like sieves) so we awarded it to Alex by default. Anyway, I’m sure it was an excellent finish involving lots of composure and skill.

At the restart Daten were able to make headway of their own and managed to win a short corner. But they were prevented from scoring a quick-fire equaliser by our fantastic new keeper Sarah Field- also known by some people (ie Dave) as ‘Sally Field’- and is therefore obviously not only an Oscar-winning film and television actress but somehow finds time in her day to play League hockey- and who made two good stops and cleared. From that point onwards Lymm dominated possession- and the game.

Good work by Lynn Pyman and Becky Pilkington on the right saw the ball crossed in for Lymm’s exciting new left forward to sweep in first time; take a bow Clairey D! Almost immediately, more good approach play from midfield ended with another good ball in- and with the same result; another excellent finish from Claire ‘Two goals’ Dobson. Three nil to Lymm.

In worsening weather the first half continued in much the same vein with more goals from Lynn, Elly, Alex (at least three) and a cracker from the top of the D by Jo Hartley. Although the team tired towards half-time, Lymm went into the break 8 (or possibly 9) goals up and having enjoyed periods of some good, one and two-touch hockey.

Mindful of the importance of goal difference in the nailbiting race to the title, and even though Daten began the second half another player down due to injury, Lymm resolved to be ruthless and to continue to exploit their advantage in the second half. Under instruction to be more patient in attack, and with a couple of players swapping around, the side soon picked up where they left off- Alex scoring more goals.

Bless Daten- they kept going but with Rachel Jackson and Sarah Hunt keeping things tight at the back and in midfield, Lymm didn’t look like conceding and Lynn, Becky and Helen Weston all added their names to the score sheet with well-worked goals. There was even time for another candidate in this season’s on-going quest to cause the most spectacular injury to one of your own teammates as Alex overtook Lisa Hartley’s effort on Lynn earlier in the season, by smacking Elly on the head with a lifted ball. But the game’s most controversial incident occurred when Lymm won the ball in the right-back area. A swift counter-attack resulted in Helen ‘Elizabeth’ Hunt coming in from the left and firing a rocket from the top of the D. The keeper made contact but couldn’t prevent the ball from making its way inexorably towards goal. Helen ‘Elizabeth’ Weston, following up, made sure the ball went over the line. But where MOST if not ALL reasonable people would see this as a fine example of finely-honed goal-poachery, haters sometimes call this ‘being a scab artist’ and Helen was booed back to the line by her OWN teammates. She can’t be sure but she thinks Alex Mitchell might have thrown in a rude hand gesture as well. Thanks, guys.

However, all’s well that ends well because the right forward ended the game with a cheeky near-post finish after being played in by Becks and, showing admirable magnanimity, decided that the other Helen Elizabeth should have her goal too.

To sum up the game; all odds were stacked in Lymm’s favour from the start but in poor conditions they played some good hockey and got the scoreline they deserved with the added bonus of another clean sheet; well-in defence. The match was conducted in a good spirit as, funnily enough, is often the case when we thrash the opposition. Roll on the next game.

Bad points of the day

Claire Dobson; no hatrick

Good points of the day

Claire Dobson; has lovely, lovely, shiny hair. I’m serious; check it out at training.

As a final note, all present agreed Helen Weston was not just the game’s outstanding player but is an all-round superb person too- not just in hockey but in life generally.

Match report by H Weston.